Enema statue in bronze

Yeah you read that right, a statue erected in honor of the enema.

The Mashuk Akva-Term sanatorium in the spa town of Zheleznovodsk, Russia thinks enemas are beautiful and have bought a $42,000 bronze bulb syringe held up by angels to prove it.

The monument weighs 350 kilograms and stands 1.5 meters high.

More than 100 enemas are carried out daily at the sanatorium. "It's high time that enemas got a monument," director of the spa said. "We wanted to make people see this procedure as more pleasant and fun," the sculptor said.

Unfortunately for all you who may want to make a trip to see the bronze bulb masterpiece, the statue stands in the park of the sanatorium and will not be accessible to the general public. I guess you have to get a good rectal flushing in order to view the statue.

Guess I will have to scratch this off of my itinerary.

{Source}

Damn, I missed the big pile of oreos

Dang it, why can't I live in Morris, Illinois?

Morris is a town of around 13,000 people and also home to 14 tons of Double Stuff Oreos. See why I want to live there?

Seems a semi-truck full of the yummy cookies was traveling from Chicago to Morris when the driver fell asleep. Well you can imagine what happened then, that's right, happy cookie heaven.

The trailer came open and there were cookies and packages of cookies all over. Now that's my kind of accident.

No charges have been filed so far due to the cops being busy enjoying some milk and cookies. Who needs donuts when you have Double Stuffs.

Rest of the story here

Looking for a vacation this summer? Try the penis museum

Stuffed elephant penis

Sigurdur Hjartarson is a man on a mission, he wants lots of penises. But don't worry, he's not a pervert, he's a museum owner, and he has brought together 261 stuffed penises from 90 species, the largest being from a sperm whale, is 70 kg (154 lb) and 1.7 meters (5.58 ft) long. The smallest, a hamster penis bone, is just 2 mm and must be viewed through a magnifying glass. Poor hamster. I guess when they call someone a buck gerbil, it's really not a compliment.

The one thing that Hjartarson is missing is a human penis, but there have been four men so far who have promised to donate, now it's just a waiting game.

If you'd like to visit the penis museum is located in Husavik, Iceland and can be visited year round or you can visit their website here. It has translation for various languages.

Personally I think it would be completely interesting to visit. Sigurdur says about his exhibit, "I hope visitors leave the museum in a better mood than when they arrived." How could they help not being happy? It's a bunch of penises for criminy sake.

Dumbass of the day, back scratching with a revovler

OMG, what is the world coming to? People worry about kids around guns, but kids are generally smarter than morons like this.

Seems Jorge had an itch he couldn't quite reach and so of all the things he could have grabbed to scratch it, he used a gun and the gun went off, shooting him. Bonehead.

Jorge Espinal of Fort Worth is 44, yes that's four four as in over 3 years old, what the hell was he thinking? Here's the shocker, beer and poker were involved, haha.

“He told officers he had an itch on his back and grabbed the first thing he could get a hold of, which was a revolver,” Lt. Dean said. “The gun went off." Dumbass. Read the whole story

here.

Well it's official, we may now be invaded by aliens. Come on down, ET.

The Vatican's chief astronomer says that believing in aliens does not contradict faith in God. Thank goodness, I was beginning to believe that my belief in aliens was gonna cost me my place in heaven.

The Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory, said that the vastness of the universe means it is possible there could be other forms of life outside Earth, even intelligent ones.

Funes said that ruling out the existence of aliens would be like "putting limits" on God's creative freedom. Well I guess the Scientologists are one step ahead of the rest.

Stolen wallet returned and it only took 35 years

Sandy Baumberger, Illinois, is happy to have her wallet back that was stolen. Only problem? It was stolen 35 years ago.

The wallet turned up in a bathroom stall at Southern Illinois University after a pipe had caused part of the ceiling to collapse.

Eric Wherly, a dental student who wasn't even born yet when the wallet was stolen, found it and with the help of an FBI friend tracked Baumberger down and returned the wallet.

The money was gone, but the wallet still contained old snapshots, swatches from her bridesmaids' dresses, her student ID and driver's license, even an old grocery list and part of a pack of Trident gum. I wonder if the gum is still fresh and chewy.

This is a great story, but I think a funny ending would be if the good samaritan would have his buddy at the FBI do fingerprints on the wallet and track down the thief. I'm sure the statute of limitations is long over, but could you imagine the look on the thief's face when someone from the FBI knocked on his door and told him/her they had something they needed to speak to them about and brought out the wallet? Ha ha, priceless.

{Whole story here}

And you thought you were having a bad day

So what would be worse than wrecking your car? How about watching your house burn down? How about a ticket? How about all three in one day?

A Rock Island, Tennessee man was trying to make a left turn into his drive way when he was hit by another car. His wife heard the crash and ran out to see what had happened like any normal person would, the only problem was she was cooking at the time and the unattended burner caught fire. Just as poor Justin Hill, 42, was being airlifted to a hospital he got to see his trailer in flames.

Hill was treated and released from the hospital, but as a bonus he was cited in the accident for failure to yield, nothing like kicking ya when you're down. I think if I was a cop and I had a choice of ticketing the poor guy or not, I would have taken pity and not written the ticket.

{Source Examiner}

How old is too old?

So how long do you have an unpaid bill before you figure it's safe to forget about it? Well this lady obviously never forgets her bills, even if she's really late paying them.

In Calumet, Michigan police received a $1 parking ticket written on Sept. 1, 1976, a $20 bill and a note last month in a plain white envelope with no return address.

The note read: "I always had good intentions of paying it. I put it aside and every once in a while I would come across it and said `someday I'm going to pay it.' Now I think it's time."

Police Chief David Outinen said the $1 fine increased to $5 after 72 hours, but hadn't increased beyond that.

The woman apparently hopes her payment closes the matter. "Please don't try and track me down. I am a respectable lady," she wrote. Yeah, because she wouldn't want her name tarnished. Karma will give her a good reward I'm sure.

{Full story here}

Alligator in the kitchen but it's not on the menu

Okay, walk into your kitchen and maybe you'll see a mouse scamper away or ick, a cockroach, but how about an 8 foot alligator. I'd crap myself, seriously, all over. Remind me never to move to Florida, I'm not into alligators in my personal space. Read full story.

TOILET EXPLODES BUT THE STITCHES ARE OKAY

Johnson City, New York -

Richard Szymanski had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from his face on Tuesday but now he really has a story to tell.

Mr. Szymanski decided to use the commode and was sitting minding his own business when steam started coming from below. Before the 61-year-old man could un-ass the throne fully the toilet exploded, launching him a few feet into the shower wall.

Crap, that's scary. “It was kind of hot there for a minute,” said Szymanski. Under-reaction of the year.

Szymanski said he was a little dizzy, but didn't think he was seriously injured....Good thing since he still had stitches from his surgery two days earlier. Ouch.

The fire department arrived and all was well, well except for the exploded toilet. A broken hot water line is said to be the cause.

No word yet if therapy will be needed.