Where's the beef?

Well this slab of beef is in jail.

For some unknown reason 30-some-odd-year-old Michele Allen from Ohio decided to get drunk, dress up like a cow, and chase neighborhood kids around.

This is how she looked when she was arrested. Yesterday Allen pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and will be locked up in the local corral for a month.

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Be sure to pay your dental bill if you're in Germany

Man I thought asshole bill collectors were just an American problem, guess I was wrong.

A German woman woke up in the middle of the night to her dentist pulling her teeth because she had not paid him.

Ouch. After the woman's insurance had refused to pay her £320 bill, her dentist broke into her home, tied her up, forced her mouth open and yanked out the two dental bridges that he had previously put in.

Wait, isn't Germany under some sort of socialized medical plan? Hmmm. HMOs aren't the only sucky insurance I guess.

The dentist hasn't yet been arrested but is facing charges. The police made the understatement of the week: "The woman was in pain when she showed up at the police station."

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This man is an idiot

See this man, he's a bad man and a dumbass to boot.

Funny this story comes from my neck of the woods.

Robbie D. Crow, 46, was released from prison Wednesday, May 21, after serving 8 years of a 12-year sentence for sexual battery out of Kootenai County. He then walked into a D.L. Evans Bank and robbed them.

Witnesses gave police the description of the suspect and they quickly found a man matching the eyewitnesses' description and chased him into a Dillard's at Boise Towne Square and found him hiding in a clothing rack. Big tough criminal.

So now it looks like Crow is headed back to the clink. Crazy man. Life on the outside is tough, y'all.

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Burger King robbed by Burger Queen

Sunday morning about 4 a.m. a man dressed in a colorful floral dress and pink necklace, entered a Burger King in New Orleans through the drive-thru window and demanded not breakfast, but cash. He got his money and headed back out the drive-thru window into his waiting white pickup and took off.

Police described the suspect as a man in his mid-20s, 6-foot-1-inch tall and weighing about 180 pounds. He was wearing a red wig, pink necklace and a red, white and black floral dress during the time of the robbery. It was not known whether stilettos or pumps were the footwear of choice. Well stilettos are a bitch to run in so let's hope he was wearing pumps.

This is not the first robbery that has involved a sharply dressed cross-dresser, in fact there's a string of them. Guy's gotta pay for his fab wigs and dresses somehow.

Read the rest of the story here.

(The above is not the perp, just a great picture of drag queen, Lee Tracey. Read about him/her here, you can even hire her for parties, woohoo)

Car Phone

A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

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I think I'd try something different next time

What a way to stick it to the man. Sometimes ads just don't work, try guns.

Armed and sweet

Tsk, tsk, tsk, the shame. A Des Moines, Iowa college student is in a sticky situation due to assaulting a police officer. His weapon of choice? M&Ms. Mmmm, tasty.

Sean McGuire's friend was being questioned in a hit and run early Sunday when he got bored or something and found himself flinging M&Ms at the policeman when one hit the officer in the shoulder. He said he was sticking up for his friend, and might I say, what a tasty way to do so.

McGuire was arrested and then released from jail Sunday after posting $1,000 bond. Now that's a lot of M&Ms.

Read the whole story here

Don't Hate Me Cause I'm Beautiful

When Crabs Attack

I actually feel sorry for this guy, nothing like an itch you can't reach

I ATE BROWNIES AND I THINK I'M DEAD

Okay, lesson to be learned, if you're a cop and you steal pot from your department and then make brownies, you're not going to die and whatever you do, don't call 9-1-1 because you will look like an idiot and end up on Youtube. Oh, and it's probably a good idea not to call your mother-in-law.