Showing posts with label Dogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dogs. Show all posts

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Full-proof child-proof drawers

OMG! This is so cute.

What's in your pets' minds

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity...My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ..

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Is that crack I smell?




Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Gravity sucks


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

It's all the cat's fault

This cat picked and picked until he irritated the dog. Hmm, reminds me of my kids.

Hello Friend


Monday, May 12, 2008

Worst police dog ever

Love the music. I hope if I ever decide to be a criminal and run from the cops, this is the dog they send.

Huge dogs and cameras don't mix

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Funnee for the day

'A Woman's Prayer:

Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for Patience for his moods, because Lord, if I pray forStrength I'll just beat him to death'
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