How gay is your weatherman?

This weatherman is obviously not a fan of bugs, especially big cockroaches who crawl across his leg. The bad thing is it goes after him twice in two completely different segments. Poor gay man.

Note to self, coolers can be considered a motorized vehicle, so don't drink and drive

Hmm, who knew a motorized cooler was considered a vehicle, but I guess in New York they are.

A Whitehall, NY man on Memorial Day was charged with a DWI (or driving while intoxicated to all of you not in the know) while riding a motorized cooler. First DWIs while walking next to a bike and now DWIs while driving motorized coolers, what is this world coming to?

Police pulled the 57-year-old man over for swerving and driving on the sidewalk on a four-wheeled, motorized cooler known as a "Cruzin Cooler." Leslie J. "Bomber" Marr, 57, could face felony DWI and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle charges because of prior arrests and convictions in drinking-and-driving cases, said Whitehall Police Chief Richard LaChapelle. The electricity-powered Cruzin Cooler that Marr was riding contained 14 beers, the chief said.

In defense of the officer, Marr was swerving and preparing to cross a busy street when the cop stopped him so I guess the DWI and arrest could potentially have saved his life.

For anyone who has never seen a motorized cooler, they have handlebars, the "driver" sits on a seat atop the cooler, and it can reportedly do up to 12 mph."

Marr had just left a nearby American Legion hall after working there, but no one was quite sure where he was headed. He refused to take a breath test and so Marr was charged with misdemeanor counts of DWI and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, and also was cited for operating an uninsured motor vehicle. Can you insure a motorized cooler? I think I'll call up Geico today and check, just for kicks.

Marr was released pending prosecution. His Cruzin Cooler was seized by police, which I suppose means his beer was too....totally harsh.

"They tell us he's been riding around town on that cooler for years," Kortright, the District Attorney, said. "You can't cruise around on your cooler if you're intoxicated." Lesson learned.

How not to search for your missing pet

I've lost pets before. When it's happened I've generally hopped in my car and drove around yelling "Fluffy, here Fluffy" or whatever the case may be. I've never hit anyone else's car and I've never done it naked, maybe I'm missing something.

This man is an idiot

See this man, he's a bad man and a dumbass to boot.

Funny this story comes from my neck of the woods.

Robbie D. Crow, 46, was released from prison Wednesday, May 21, after serving 8 years of a 12-year sentence for sexual battery out of Kootenai County. He then walked into a D.L. Evans Bank and robbed them.

Witnesses gave police the description of the suspect and they quickly found a man matching the eyewitnesses' description and chased him into a Dillard's at Boise Towne Square and found him hiding in a clothing rack. Big tough criminal.

So now it looks like Crow is headed back to the clink. Crazy man. Life on the outside is tough, y'all.

{Source}

Funniest naked story of the day

Hmmm, what to do when you're having a layover and you're a pilot and a flight attendant. What to do, what to do.

I could probably think of half a dozen things like going to the zoo, taking in a museum or a movie, sleeping, find a fun game of bingo. There are a lot of things I could think to do.

One of the things I don't think I'd do though would be take a naked romp around the local woods, but apparently these two thought that would be a grand idea.

About 9:30 pm people who lived around these woods started calling police to say they had seen a naked man and an intoxicated woman running around. Wow, alcohol was involved, shocker there.

The police must have been bored because they decided to use a helicopter with heat-seeking equipment and found the 24-year-old naked pilot hiding behind a shed, wearing only flip-flops and a watch.

The 24-year-old flight attendant was found at some point, although there was no mention in the news story of how so it must not have been near as funny.

Both have been suspended from the airline they worked for. The man was charged with indecent exposure, public drunkenness and other offenses. The woman was charged with theft from a motor vehicle, public drunkenness and other offenses; police said she took a flashlight from a neighbor's vehicle.

Honestly, I think they should have just let the two go, I think they're probably embarrassed enough as it is. Just my opinion.

Burger King robbed by Burger Queen

Sunday morning about 4 a.m. a man dressed in a colorful floral dress and pink necklace, entered a Burger King in New Orleans through the drive-thru window and demanded not breakfast, but cash. He got his money and headed back out the drive-thru window into his waiting white pickup and took off.

Police described the suspect as a man in his mid-20s, 6-foot-1-inch tall and weighing about 180 pounds. He was wearing a red wig, pink necklace and a red, white and black floral dress during the time of the robbery. It was not known whether stilettos or pumps were the footwear of choice. Well stilettos are a bitch to run in so let's hope he was wearing pumps.

This is not the first robbery that has involved a sharply dressed cross-dresser, in fact there's a string of them. Guy's gotta pay for his fab wigs and dresses somehow.

Read the rest of the story here.

(The above is not the perp, just a great picture of drag queen, Lee Tracey. Read about him/her here, you can even hire her for parties, woohoo)

Armed and sweet

Tsk, tsk, tsk, the shame. A Des Moines, Iowa college student is in a sticky situation due to assaulting a police officer. His weapon of choice? M&Ms. Mmmm, tasty.

Sean McGuire's friend was being questioned in a hit and run early Sunday when he got bored or something and found himself flinging M&Ms at the policeman when one hit the officer in the shoulder. He said he was sticking up for his friend, and might I say, what a tasty way to do so.

McGuire was arrested and then released from jail Sunday after posting $1,000 bond. Now that's a lot of M&Ms.

Read the whole story here

BEER INVOLVED, GLOBAL WARNING WILL NOW BE SOLVED

So here's a question, how do you solve the global warming problem overnight? This may be the smartest move I've ever seen scientists come up with to solve a world-wide problem and potentially human race ending problem. Tell the world that it will affect beer production. According to climate scientist Jim Salinger the rising climate may soon start making barley, one of the main ingredients in that lovely barley pop otherwise known as beer, growing tougher. People, no barley means no beer, no beer means a whole lot of angry, un-drunken men and women and would making dating a whole lot more boring. Heck it might even lower the world population since there would probably be a whole lot less drunken oops. Hmm, okay, focus here. Now he only mentions Australia and New Zealand but I'm sure those two should not be the only ones quivering in their mugs, this could be a major global crisis here people.

So what to do? Post an article on this subject on bar walls, in bathroom stalls, print it on bar napkins, put it on the back of beer cans like missing children on the back of milk cartons, make public service announcements. You make the general populace of beer drinkers, some billion, trillion, gazillion people worldwide aware, and you will solve your global warming. You will have more support for research than you ever knew possible, although it may be a lot of beer bellied, sweaty men, but beggers can't be choosers I don't spose. Also I think Al Gore should start stumping for Coors or Bud, combine the two, how cool would that be?

Say no to global warming, yes to beer. Support the cause y'all.